Your Inner Critique - but don't be too hard on yourself

Anisha explains its important to self critical but we have to have the confidence to know that our strengths can be weaknesses and our weaknesses make us who we are... its a tricky balance.

'Comparison is the thief of joy'.
'Look at the bigger picture'.
'Be kind to yourself'.
We’ve all heard these things, but sometimes it takes a while for it to sink in. Where does this low self-esteem creep in from? What makes our brain turn against ourselves?

With all the bumps in the road life has already, having that critical, nagging voice pinching the back of your head is the last thing you need. But it comes, time and time again. Telling you to do better, or shrinking with envy at somebody else. Sometimes, self doubt can creep about with no particular reason. Other times, you're surrounded by people who seem to have achieved everything under the sun. 

I think, whilst it is cliche to say everybody’s in their own lane, and we’re all running our own race, it’s important to notice why we may be so inclined to side glance at what somebody else is doing. Fitting in or being part of the group is a biological and survival instinct. Being behind or different often meant being perceived as an outsider, and thus, a threat. I think it’s important today to realise how our strengths are weaknesses. Aphorisms such as this can be easy to say, but harder when it comes to fully embodying their truth. Seeing things differently can so often lead to imposter syndrome, or slightly isolated feelings of being left out. But small talents, skill sets and quirks shed light on other vantage points and possibilities. Trusting in this takes time and a lot of confidence.
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Doubt. An inevitable and impending phenomenon. Whilst the Inner Critic shouldn’t be allowed to completely hijack your mind, there are parts which can be useful. Just as a small amount of ‘healthy’ stress can be. We are made to feel a little uncomfortable, our normality becomes slightly skewed and the situation demands another shift in view. It’s vital to the process of change. 

Extending ideas into feelings of insufficiency or incompetence spread a lot into the age of modern capitalism. Today’s living means that we are constantly manipulated into seeing everything as a competition. There aren’t enough resources to go round. There are too many of us wanting the same thing. Success is measured materially. These are ideas which circulate to instigate better performance or production value from us. Through being pit against each other, comparing ourselves to one another, the only benefit is usually for the larger corporations. 

How do we catch this trickling down to a personal level? Some psychiatrists have shown that talking out loud to ourselves can help. It can help add some perspective to the situation. Similar to writing things down (which I have raved about consistently during these blogs) we are able to take things out of our knotty, busy minds and into the world. To see it, not necessarily ‘as it is,’ but as something not entirely fixed into our automatic way of being. Key word again? Perspective. 
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You’ll probably forget it at some point— whilst catching your sleeve on a door after a long day, or forgetting to save the last paragraph of an essay— but take your time. Be kind. 

Author

Anisha Jaya Minocha is studying English and Spanish at the University of St Andrews, where she is School President for English. She worked in Andalucía, teaching. She is a writer and poet whose work has been showcased in winning competitions, readings and anthologies. She co-edits SINK Magazine, which gives a platform to Northern creatives, and founded the "Roots"" project with Friends of the Earth, developed during her writing residency with environmental charity Green and Away, exploring intersections between South Asian identity and ecology. Twitter: @anisha_jaya

Picture: Markus Spiske @ Unsplash