Refections on what's really important in life

Striving to find 'the' path might feel like the right thing to do, but Tiffany says maybe supporting and interacting with others might help find direction and clarity.

Gap Year Reflections:
I took a year out of education, and it’s been one of the most valuable experiences of my life. Stepping away from school gave me the space to get to know myself in ways I don’t think I could. Here’s what I’ve learned during my gap year.

Life isn’t linear…
I’ve always been someone who likes to plan. I want to see the big picture, lay everything out neatly, and make sure it all fits together. When things don’t go to plan, I start to feel out of control. So I tried to plan my life the same way - step by step, goal by goal - but I constantly found myself rubbing things out and starting again. Every time the plan changed, I felt like I was failing somehow, like there was something wrong with me because I couldn’t figure out exactly what I wanted to do. One day I wanted to be an engineer. The next, a doctor. Then a scientist. The pressure to choose one path, ‘the’ path, in Year 13 felt huge and final - like I had to get it right or risk ruining everything. But taking this year out helped me realise something important: life isn’t a straight line. There’s no single path that guarantees success. No perfect formula to follow. Of course, having a structure or a sense of direction is useful - it helps you see how the different parts of your life might fit together. But trying to force yourself to stick rigidly to one plan just to feel secure? That’s where things fall apart. People aren’t porcelain dolls - positioned perfectly into place. Trying to live that way only leaves you feeling like you’re cracking.

Being happy
There’s no point in chasing anything if it doesn’t make you feel good. You could have piles of money, endless stuff, even people who admire you - but if you’re not actually happy, what’s the point? This shift in thinking changed everything for me. We’re taught to chase success, status, and material things. We’re encouraged to be ambitious, but not often asked whether our ambitions match how we want to feel. This year, I’ve volunteered a lot, worked with all kinds of people, and met others doing a wide range of jobs. The happiest people I’ve met all have one thing in common: they prioritise their happiness. They rest when they need to. They avoid doing things that drain them. They surround themselves with people who uplift them and genuinely want the best for them.

You don’t have to burn in the flames of passion…
For so long, I wanted a passion that consumed me - something I could live and breathe and fight for. I thought something was wrong with me because nothing seemed to make me feel that strongly. I was chasing that all-consuming feeling because we often tie passion to purpose. But over time, I realised that for me, it’s enough just to be. It’s enough to wake up and hear the birds singing outside my window. To smile at strangers on the train. To feel the breeze after a hot day, or the warmth in the air after a cold morning. Appreciating life is a passion in itself. Learning to live in the present has made me more passionate about everything. Being alive - on this planet, among people, with all these small moments to take in - it fills me with joy. How could I not make the most of it, knowing there are trees taller than office buildings? How could I not want to help others, knowing how lucky I am to have this platform to be able to share my thoughts with you here? It honestly blows my mind.

Making a difference
In a few weeks, I’ll be hiking across mountains, marshes and moors, and I think that perfectly captures how I feel inside. Realising the world is so much bigger than me has been comforting. It used to be scary, feeling small. But now, it makes my anxious thoughts shrink. Those inner voices filled with doubt get quieter in the face of something so vast. I know there’s a lot of chaos out there, but I genuinely believe, on a local level, we can help. We can help each other feel seen, heard and loved.
We can support those in need by volunteering, by advocating, by working to make our local communities kinder, more connected. And in those small ways, hope grows. And where hope grows, so does positivity. And where that blooms, humanity becomes softer, more compassionate, full of light and joy.

​Working with young children this year has taught me so much about the power of having a positive mindset; seeing how receptive they are, how eager to learn and better themselves once inspired. This has probably been the most transformative part of my year. Through my work with them, I’ve been able to see how important it is to share knowledge, encourage learning and strive to be an example. 

Author

Tiffany Payne-Igharoro is a university student.

For me, writing has become the perfect medium to  process my experiences and formulate them into well-considered expressions and stories. Through writing for PUSH, I hope to share insights I gain throughout my journey (whether academic or personal) with other young people across the UK! I am a strong believer in the power of personal development and its ability to shape our lives, help us forge career paths and nurture relationships with others and ourselves. My blogs, often peppered with personal anecdotes, always carry a touch of "this is a tool to add to your character building collection"...

​Picture: Clay Banks @Unsplash